The Guiding of Isaac. Part 2: The Caves.

Hey Isaac,

Hope you found this note in good health hahaha… who am I kidding, you’re probably leaking bloody tears with a coathanger sticking out of your lil’ round head haha…

I miss you, Isaac. I miss Mom. I dunno what happened to her, when Dad left she took it pretty rough, and she took comfort in some pretty shady churches. The grace she used to have us say, “For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives”, it makes sense now.

I thought I could escape but it is not so easy. I’m not sure how we end this, but I think we might have to take revenge on Mom in order to do so. I’m not sure how I’ll react if I see her again, but I have learned a few tips on surviving down here and I’m sure I can still teach you a thing or two kiddo.

First of all you gotta treat this like a game. You get points for failing, as long as you take note of your failings and try and correct them next time. Like last night I learned the hard way not to stand around those dark red fires for too long, no matter how cold you are.

You haven’t seen the dark red fires yet? Well, Mom build an expansion onto the basement a couple months ago, a wrathful act indeed… you’ll stumble on it someday I’m sure, maybe in a humble bundle lying around the caves.

I know it seems a lot like a bullet hell… man I miss video games. You remember bullet hell games right? You used to watch me on the couch playing Ikaruga for hours. Some rooms down there are riddled with enemies chasing you down, filling the air with blood and tears and whatever else they’re trying to kill you with. But I already wrote to you about that, just stay cool and outmaneuver them. Dodge when you have to. Bear in mind that 80% of the time you should be dodging less than you are, just move enough to avoid trouble and put yourself in a position to keep lobbing tears at these monsters.

Move into safe space, have the enemies chase you, kite them. Remember the Frost Mage I rolled for you in WoW? Do that.

This game of Mom’s is much more than a bullet hell, and to succeed you’ll need more than good reflexes. Make it down a few more floors and I’ll have more to tell you.

Have faith,
love,
Eliezer

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